9.12.2004
Well, I know it's been a while since the last post. But, you won't believe what insanity has plauged my life in the meantime. My last post mentioned divorce? Yeah.. you could say that. Well, I was told that he was in custody in the Jefferson County jail. He escaped. That's right, he escaped. Then he deceided to show up at my door and tell me he loved me, blah, blah, blah. Thus, violating the restrainging order and spooking me a bit. That's when I started carrying a baseball bat around with me. Then I got this nice little call from a police detective who told me that soon-to-be exhusband was safely back in custody. I have to say I had my doubts. Well....how right I was!
On Monday, Labor Day, my husband made an attempt on my life. Yes, I'm not exaggerating. I came home, not knowing he was hiding in the closet, and got in the shower. Then he jumped in and attacked me with a knife! He also tried to rape me, choke me, and suffocate me. Needless to say, he did not succeed! The incident was all over the news, on the TV, in the newspaper. I don't really care to go into too much detail right now, but let me add that my apartment is currently trashed, covered in blood, and boarded up.
I'm okay. I'm safe. Terrified, plagued with nightmares, but okay nonetheless. To all my friends out there, it was Hell, but I'm still kicking! How dare that fucking bastard try to take me out!!!! Let's hope he's going away for a long, long time....
There will be more details later and I'll keep up with this thing more regularly now that I don't have someone looking over my shoulder.
whisper in my ear []
On Monday, Labor Day, my husband made an attempt on my life. Yes, I'm not exaggerating. I came home, not knowing he was hiding in the closet, and got in the shower. Then he jumped in and attacked me with a knife! He also tried to rape me, choke me, and suffocate me. Needless to say, he did not succeed! The incident was all over the news, on the TV, in the newspaper. I don't really care to go into too much detail right now, but let me add that my apartment is currently trashed, covered in blood, and boarded up.
I'm okay. I'm safe. Terrified, plagued with nightmares, but okay nonetheless. To all my friends out there, it was Hell, but I'm still kicking! How dare that fucking bastard try to take me out!!!! Let's hope he's going away for a long, long time....
There will be more details later and I'll keep up with this thing more regularly now that I don't have someone looking over my shoulder.
whisper in my ear []
8.26.2004
the lowliest scum of the earth (a.k.a. my soon-to-be exhusband)
has been banished from the abode,
restrained by order of the court,
and jailed by the county.
thus begins my emancipation from evil...
whisper in my ear []
has been banished from the abode,
restrained by order of the court,
and jailed by the county.
thus begins my emancipation from evil...
whisper in my ear []
3.09.2004
boetry in motion - www.boetryinmotion.blogspot.com
whisper in my ear []
whisper in my ear []
okay, i've started up by boetry in motion blog again, since hubby and I have taken things up a notch and i promised to post here when new posts are created there...
in neko news though, one of the gerbils (zoey) almost got lunched by the dog. i kept telling husband not to tempt her...but who listens to me? she's alright though and the dog got a good scolding (so did hubby).
my savings plans have not been going so well. my original plan was to save $400 a month and be out of here in may. but with gas and smokes sucking up most of my earnings, we have a grand total of $0 in the account right now. plus, my dad started charging us rent, even though he has finally managed to find employment. that sucks up about half of what i make. i know some of the rent goes to child support for my brother, so at least there's some good coming of it. hubby had a job for about a day. he's a felon though, so as soon as that background check comes back, guess who's unemployed again. god gamn patriot act. anti-american act is what they should call it if you ask me, but since there's probably some spook with a bug up his ass monitoring my web activity - i love the usa!!
my brother may be coming to live here soon. ever wonder why i haven't spoken to my mother in about 10 years? well, it's mostly because of the supreme asshole (i'm being kind) that she ran off with. the guy has taken, recently, to beating on my brother. hubby and i have performed more than one rescue operation on his behalf. i love my bro dearly and i really hope that things can work out for him at dad's here. my mother said she doesn't want him anyway.
i really wish i had more ops to post here, since i think of a million things during the day that never find their way to print. how many rants have my dear readers missed? plus, i don't really have any friends that can serve as confidants for my stress release. if only i could just go out, have a couple beers, and chill once in a while. hubby would get jelous though, male or female. not to throw a pity-party or anything, but i've only really got 2 friends in the world. there's shenry, who's been around forever and who's super cool - hi shen!! - and my friend cat in austin, who i almost never hear from and almost never email. sigh. poor me.
whisper in my ear []
in neko news though, one of the gerbils (zoey) almost got lunched by the dog. i kept telling husband not to tempt her...but who listens to me? she's alright though and the dog got a good scolding (so did hubby).
my savings plans have not been going so well. my original plan was to save $400 a month and be out of here in may. but with gas and smokes sucking up most of my earnings, we have a grand total of $0 in the account right now. plus, my dad started charging us rent, even though he has finally managed to find employment. that sucks up about half of what i make. i know some of the rent goes to child support for my brother, so at least there's some good coming of it. hubby had a job for about a day. he's a felon though, so as soon as that background check comes back, guess who's unemployed again. god gamn patriot act. anti-american act is what they should call it if you ask me, but since there's probably some spook with a bug up his ass monitoring my web activity - i love the usa!!
my brother may be coming to live here soon. ever wonder why i haven't spoken to my mother in about 10 years? well, it's mostly because of the supreme asshole (i'm being kind) that she ran off with. the guy has taken, recently, to beating on my brother. hubby and i have performed more than one rescue operation on his behalf. i love my bro dearly and i really hope that things can work out for him at dad's here. my mother said she doesn't want him anyway.
i really wish i had more ops to post here, since i think of a million things during the day that never find their way to print. how many rants have my dear readers missed? plus, i don't really have any friends that can serve as confidants for my stress release. if only i could just go out, have a couple beers, and chill once in a while. hubby would get jelous though, male or female. not to throw a pity-party or anything, but i've only really got 2 friends in the world. there's shenry, who's been around forever and who's super cool - hi shen!! - and my friend cat in austin, who i almost never hear from and almost never email. sigh. poor me.
whisper in my ear []
2.18.2004
well, well, well, so you finally decided to post, did you? well it's about freakin' time lazy ass!
what? well i had a lot going on -
no excuses! just shut up and post!
ak-
hello again good readers. it looks like i have much to catch up on, so here's the agenda:
1. hubby's trip
2. resolutions progress
3. birthday
4. new family members
without futher adoo....
hubby's trip: well, hubby made it home, finally, but not without throwing another $200 out the window when he broke down along the way and had to replace the alternator. his friend, however phoned me while hubby was on the way back, and told me a few disturbing things. first of all, he claims to know nothing of the situation with his girlfriend. he also states that hubby lied to me about not doing drugs, looking for an apartment, and several other things. now i'm receiving emails from the guy with alot of claims about forged checks (sound familiar?). but, i've already found one of the guy's statements to be false, so i don't know how far to trust him. but, he must be pissed about something, or he wouldn't be leaving harassing messages on my father's machine. hmm...
resolution progress: haven't made much i'm afraid. my father offered to get the patch for hubby and i, so we might try that. spending around $4/day on smokes is not condusive to savings. i did get some vegan stickers that will help toward my resolution to become more active on the animal rights front.
birthday: my birthday early this month. everything went fairly well. had a great dinner at an expensive japanese place w/friends and family. the honorable shenry graced me with a collection of his top 100 musical picks. there's something else here i'm forgetting to mention...
new family members: there are 2 new additions to our ever-growing family. their names are sophia and zoey, and they're gerbils! i wish i could post their fuzzy little mugs up here, but hubby pawned my digital camera :( i also picked up a pamphlet on ferrets to share w/shenry, but i keep forgetting.
got to go now....will try to post again soon.
whisper in my ear []
what? well i had a lot going on -
no excuses! just shut up and post!
ak-
hello again good readers. it looks like i have much to catch up on, so here's the agenda:
1. hubby's trip
2. resolutions progress
3. birthday
4. new family members
without futher adoo....
hubby's trip: well, hubby made it home, finally, but not without throwing another $200 out the window when he broke down along the way and had to replace the alternator. his friend, however phoned me while hubby was on the way back, and told me a few disturbing things. first of all, he claims to know nothing of the situation with his girlfriend. he also states that hubby lied to me about not doing drugs, looking for an apartment, and several other things. now i'm receiving emails from the guy with alot of claims about forged checks (sound familiar?). but, i've already found one of the guy's statements to be false, so i don't know how far to trust him. but, he must be pissed about something, or he wouldn't be leaving harassing messages on my father's machine. hmm...
resolution progress: haven't made much i'm afraid. my father offered to get the patch for hubby and i, so we might try that. spending around $4/day on smokes is not condusive to savings. i did get some vegan stickers that will help toward my resolution to become more active on the animal rights front.
birthday: my birthday early this month. everything went fairly well. had a great dinner at an expensive japanese place w/friends and family. the honorable shenry graced me with a collection of his top 100 musical picks. there's something else here i'm forgetting to mention...
new family members: there are 2 new additions to our ever-growing family. their names are sophia and zoey, and they're gerbils! i wish i could post their fuzzy little mugs up here, but hubby pawned my digital camera :( i also picked up a pamphlet on ferrets to share w/shenry, but i keep forgetting.
got to go now....will try to post again soon.
whisper in my ear []
1.01.2004
Happy New Year!!!
Good riddance to 2003. I swear, it's been the shittiest year of my life. Here's to 2004. May it be a vast improvement. So, I guess it's time for that annual list of things I should do to drag myself out of the rut, but probably won't ever get around to.
1. Move out of this freezing-ass state.
2. Start a savings account.
3. Stop smoking.
4. Be more "pro-active" on the animal rights front.
5. Emotional stability??
Alright. That's it for now. At least, those are the most important ones. I'll start with that and work my way up.
On the homefront, it looks like my husband is coming back. He hasn't had any attacks since he's been there, so I'm a little worried about his return. Apparently, he's really uncomfortable living with his friend and his friend's girlfriend. He told me that last night, while his friend was passed out drunk, this chick started making the moves on him. He told her he was married, devoted, etc. Finally, he went up the stairs and woke up his friend to tell him what was up. So now the household is ground zero. My husband's friend knows that hubby was telling the truth, because they've been friends a long time. I know he was telling the truth, because I must have talked to the man seven times over the course of the evening and I know he wasn't drunk or anything. When it comes to women, at least, I know I can trust my husband. Besides, I don't have that gut rotting feeling when I know he's lying to me.
So, there goes more money out the door. But, at least I'll have my husband back.
Hope all of you had a good New Years.
whisper in my ear []
Good riddance to 2003. I swear, it's been the shittiest year of my life. Here's to 2004. May it be a vast improvement. So, I guess it's time for that annual list of things I should do to drag myself out of the rut, but probably won't ever get around to.
1. Move out of this freezing-ass state.
2. Start a savings account.
3. Stop smoking.
4. Be more "pro-active" on the animal rights front.
5. Emotional stability??
Alright. That's it for now. At least, those are the most important ones. I'll start with that and work my way up.
On the homefront, it looks like my husband is coming back. He hasn't had any attacks since he's been there, so I'm a little worried about his return. Apparently, he's really uncomfortable living with his friend and his friend's girlfriend. He told me that last night, while his friend was passed out drunk, this chick started making the moves on him. He told her he was married, devoted, etc. Finally, he went up the stairs and woke up his friend to tell him what was up. So now the household is ground zero. My husband's friend knows that hubby was telling the truth, because they've been friends a long time. I know he was telling the truth, because I must have talked to the man seven times over the course of the evening and I know he wasn't drunk or anything. When it comes to women, at least, I know I can trust my husband. Besides, I don't have that gut rotting feeling when I know he's lying to me.
So, there goes more money out the door. But, at least I'll have my husband back.
Hope all of you had a good New Years.
whisper in my ear []
12.29.2003
holy cow! it's another post! two days in a row no less!
here's another entry for my list of odd coicidence (i guess i should learn how to spell that). riding the lightrail home today from work, i noticed a man (apparently homeless) lying crosswise in the middle of the sidewalk. "the least the bastard could do," i thought to myself,"is stay out of the fucking sidewalk." - heartless? see entries regarding extreme fuck-over by homeless men. - then i wondered to myself about the train of thought (or lack thereof) that would lead one to pick such a place for a doze. if you were in such a situation, wouldn't you want a cozy, out of the way place? then again, maybe he was trying to be noticed. well, the train fled on and so my thoughts were fleeting.
before boarding said lightrail train, i purchased 7 Television Commercials (Radiohead videos). In the video for Just, a man in a business suit decides to just lay down in the middle of the sidewalk. People proceed to gather around the man to determine his reasons for this action.
odd, you think? even if i had realized that this video was on my new DVD, how could the homeless fellow possibly know this? maybe he does that everyday. but, why did i only notice and reflect upon his exisence today? hmmm....
and speaking of coincedence, the movie that seems most stuck in my mind on the subject is The Ring. I won't go into just why right now, but i rented over the weekend the Japanese film that The Ring was based on. It's called "Ringu". It's pretty much identical to the American version, except replace the horses with a volcano and tone down the freaky special effects (waaaaay down).
okay. i'm out. my brother got a new video game for christmas and i'm sneaking off to virtual snowboard. wheee!
whisper in my ear []
here's another entry for my list of odd coicidence (i guess i should learn how to spell that). riding the lightrail home today from work, i noticed a man (apparently homeless) lying crosswise in the middle of the sidewalk. "the least the bastard could do," i thought to myself,"is stay out of the fucking sidewalk." - heartless? see entries regarding extreme fuck-over by homeless men. - then i wondered to myself about the train of thought (or lack thereof) that would lead one to pick such a place for a doze. if you were in such a situation, wouldn't you want a cozy, out of the way place? then again, maybe he was trying to be noticed. well, the train fled on and so my thoughts were fleeting.
before boarding said lightrail train, i purchased 7 Television Commercials (Radiohead videos). In the video for Just, a man in a business suit decides to just lay down in the middle of the sidewalk. People proceed to gather around the man to determine his reasons for this action.
odd, you think? even if i had realized that this video was on my new DVD, how could the homeless fellow possibly know this? maybe he does that everyday. but, why did i only notice and reflect upon his exisence today? hmmm....
and speaking of coincedence, the movie that seems most stuck in my mind on the subject is The Ring. I won't go into just why right now, but i rented over the weekend the Japanese film that The Ring was based on. It's called "Ringu". It's pretty much identical to the American version, except replace the horses with a volcano and tone down the freaky special effects (waaaaay down).
okay. i'm out. my brother got a new video game for christmas and i'm sneaking off to virtual snowboard. wheee!
whisper in my ear []
12.28.2003
yeah, i know it's been a while. no, i didn't mean to neglect you or anything...
well, it's just all the emotional ups and downs, not to mention time constraints...
yeah, yeah...i know. excuses, excuses.
but...i HAVE been thinking about you....
here i am again, after a long absence. my husband is once again out of town. so much for his promises. this time though, it's for good reason. he had to leave for various legal and medical difficulties. it was either stay here with me, or possibly die. no, i'm not exaggerating. he's in good hands (i think), staying in a stable home of a friend. so he's not sleeping out in the truck and he's among folks he knows, so it's quite a load off compared to his ill-fated trip to cali. i would have left with him, but i have an obligation to my father. see, i'm the only one employed in this house, and dad needs to pay the morgage. so, my love and i have been separated by circumstance again. once i get my father the chedda he needs for january, the plan is for hubby to come and get me.
his mission is to get living quarters and a job in the meantime. i've just got to maintain. .....and worry, worry, worry. there are habits my husband has that aren't exactly good for his health. there isn't much i can do from here to keep him on the right path, so my loss of what little control i had doesn't do much for my nerves or my psyche. it's not that i seek to control the man. i just want to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. again. i even bought him a cell phone (no, it's NOT a leash!) so that we could keep in touch. today i didn't get his promised call and wasn't able to get through. so i kinda lost it. when he did call finally, i chewed him a new a$$hole. i can't stand this distance AND to be cut off as well.
let me explain the medical issue and maybe you'll better understand my concerns. my husband has a very rare blood disease. so rare, in fact, that only a handful of people in this country have it and ems personell and doctors look like deer in the headlights when you try to explain it. very unfortunate considering normal medical procedures can kill him. put him in an ambulance and the lights will burn his skin. he has his father to thank for the nasty genes.
a few days before christmas, he had an attack. loss of consiousness, not breathing, not responding. i almost had a fucking heart attack myself when i found him on the floor. but, i pulled myself together and called 911. then i walked the ems through treatment. the thing is, he hasn't had an attack since his was 14 or so. two days later he had another attack and i drove him to the emergency room. then he had another on christmas and we decided that something drastic had to be done. we arrived at the conclusion that it could be the altitude and thin winter air causing the problem.
so you see, the situation was critical. i hope that we've solved the problem for now. now maybe you can understand why i freaked out when i didn't hear from him. god, the things i go through for this man. i swear.
so, hubby is gone for a while and i'll miss him terribly. i'll wonder what he's doing, if he's okay, and what mischief he's up to. but i'll keep working and storing the nuts until we can be together again.
so, SO! so, what if i start every sentence with so.....
whisper in my ear []
well, it's just all the emotional ups and downs, not to mention time constraints...
yeah, yeah...i know. excuses, excuses.
but...i HAVE been thinking about you....
here i am again, after a long absence. my husband is once again out of town. so much for his promises. this time though, it's for good reason. he had to leave for various legal and medical difficulties. it was either stay here with me, or possibly die. no, i'm not exaggerating. he's in good hands (i think), staying in a stable home of a friend. so he's not sleeping out in the truck and he's among folks he knows, so it's quite a load off compared to his ill-fated trip to cali. i would have left with him, but i have an obligation to my father. see, i'm the only one employed in this house, and dad needs to pay the morgage. so, my love and i have been separated by circumstance again. once i get my father the chedda he needs for january, the plan is for hubby to come and get me.
his mission is to get living quarters and a job in the meantime. i've just got to maintain. .....and worry, worry, worry. there are habits my husband has that aren't exactly good for his health. there isn't much i can do from here to keep him on the right path, so my loss of what little control i had doesn't do much for my nerves or my psyche. it's not that i seek to control the man. i just want to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. again. i even bought him a cell phone (no, it's NOT a leash!) so that we could keep in touch. today i didn't get his promised call and wasn't able to get through. so i kinda lost it. when he did call finally, i chewed him a new a$$hole. i can't stand this distance AND to be cut off as well.
let me explain the medical issue and maybe you'll better understand my concerns. my husband has a very rare blood disease. so rare, in fact, that only a handful of people in this country have it and ems personell and doctors look like deer in the headlights when you try to explain it. very unfortunate considering normal medical procedures can kill him. put him in an ambulance and the lights will burn his skin. he has his father to thank for the nasty genes.
a few days before christmas, he had an attack. loss of consiousness, not breathing, not responding. i almost had a fucking heart attack myself when i found him on the floor. but, i pulled myself together and called 911. then i walked the ems through treatment. the thing is, he hasn't had an attack since his was 14 or so. two days later he had another attack and i drove him to the emergency room. then he had another on christmas and we decided that something drastic had to be done. we arrived at the conclusion that it could be the altitude and thin winter air causing the problem.
so you see, the situation was critical. i hope that we've solved the problem for now. now maybe you can understand why i freaked out when i didn't hear from him. god, the things i go through for this man. i swear.
so, hubby is gone for a while and i'll miss him terribly. i'll wonder what he's doing, if he's okay, and what mischief he's up to. but i'll keep working and storing the nuts until we can be together again.
so, SO! so, what if i start every sentence with so.....
whisper in my ear []
